4/Therapy can be uncomfortable…& empowering
Sitting with a stranger and naming all your worries, sources of stress, and things you want to improve about your life can be difficult, time-consuming, and uncomfortable. We spend years learning to cope with our struggles and protect ourselves from things that cause us emotional and physical pain. One common way we cope is by avoiding. Avoiding memories, past experiences, people or even our thoughts and worries. Avoidance is so common because it makes us feel better…temporarily. We feel an immediate sense of relief when we actively avoid things that cause us distress, but avoidance does not solve our problems and it does not help us heal from difficult life experiences. Instead, avoidance commonly holds people back from living their life in a way consistent with their values.
Diego Perez, a poet who goes by the pen name of yung pueblo (meaning “young people’), shares his ideas on healing and self-compassion in his book, Lighter: Let Go of the Past, Connect with the Present and Future. It is a beautiful and inspiring book that encourages readers to reflect on their life experiences, build self-awareness and be mindful and connected to the present moment. pueblo’s words on healing and living a meaningful life struck me as I was reading his book. He writes:
“Healing isn’t about filing your life with pleasure or never having a hard moment again…it’s about being real and facing what you feel so that it doesn’t accumulate in unhealthy ways…being with the down moments is better than carrying unprocessed pain everywhere you go.”
Taking the time to sit with your thoughts, reflect on your life experiences, and gain insight into how you navigate the world around you is both healing and empowering. Therapy is a great space to reflect and learn more about yourself along with your strengths and potential sources of pain.
Self-understanding is empowering.
So, the question is: How do we embrace the discomfort of our past and difficult life experiences while also speaking our truth and living meaningful lives? By understanding our own empowerment. We cannot control others; we can only make efforts to understand ourselves and be honest.
